2021 Marriage Challenge Day 11

Day 11: Check Your Pride   

"When we say 'I Do,' we agree to put the well-being of the marriage above our whims and selfish desires." (Fearless Families, pg. 190)Read that quote again and ask yourself a simple question--am I living out the spirit of that quote? If the answer is "no," what are you going to do about it?Pride will kill intimacy. It may not lead to a divorce, but it will lead to the end of a meaningful relationship. Left unchecked, it will wreak havoc on every aspect of our marriage.Often, when we think about pride we think about dramatic acts of selfishness. Yet, the greater threat to our relationships might not be the dramatic big acts, but the small acts of selfishness which we are tempted to downplay or deny. Those are the actions that are allowed to grow and begin to erode the foundation of our connection.So, check yourself. Think back to yesterday and simply asked, "Did I put the well-being of our marriage above my own whims and selfish desires?" Think about today. In what ways will you visibly choose your spouse over yourself?Recognize the great threat pride presents to your marriage. Root it out of every nook and cranny in your life and your marriage will thrive in response. Ignore it at your own peril.Let's do a quick pride check. Click on the button below and consider if any of these signs of pride are present in your relationship.    

Life is exhausting so the last thing we want to do is add to the weariness. Here are

5 exhausting

habits you should avoid in marriage. Are any present in your relationship?   

Question of the Day

My spouse keeps bringing up my mistakes from years ago, what do we do?  

Answer: The issue is forgiveness. Once forgiveness occurs, the issue does not get repeated--either by action or mention. Something is preventing true forgiveness in this situation. The first question I would have is "has the behavior changed?" If you are still doing the same things as years ago then your spouse really isn't bringing up the past, he/she is bringing up the present. If that's the case, get help to stop the behavior. If, however, the behavior has stopped and your spouse keeps bringing up the issue, he/she needs to seek help to learn how to properly forgive. Either way, help is necessary. Y'all have not been able to navigate this on your own so find someone who can help you move forward. (See: The Hidden Cost of Unforgiveness)

Questions?

I am not a professional marriage counselor and do not pretend to be. However, if you need help over the next month, don't be afraid to reach out. I can help point you in the right direction. Also, if you have a question, just reply to this email and I might include it in tomorrow's message. I won't use your name or tell your spouse you asked the question.