2021 Marriage Challenge Day 14

Day 14: Appreciate What You Have    

"There is great beauty in people willingly submitting themselves to one another out of love and respect." (Fearless Families, pg. 187)Happy Valentine's Day. I assume your marriage isn't perfect, but for at least this day can you appreciate where you've been, give thanks for where you are, and hope about where you might be headed?Whatever the state of your relationship, you've made it to today. That's more than others can say. Appreciate it. Consider the good times. Remember the struggles. Thank your partner for what you have created.Appreciate today. Give thanks that your spouse is beside you. Write down what you love about them. Tell them why you fell in love and why you are happy to still be with them.Think of what is the best-case scenario regarding what lies ahead. We often think in the worst of terms, but what are the possibilities before you. What could the two of you become with a little work, time, and good fortune?Celebrate those things today. Consider the beauty of marriage. Pledge to one another to do your best to make tomorrow better than yesterday. Then do it. Take concrete actions that will make you a better husband/wife. Show your spouse through your behavior, not just your words, that they matter to you.It's Valentine's Day. Recognize the beauty and build on it.    

So often we spend time thinking of what is wrong with life and marriage, but we fail to appreciate what we have. Yet to lose appreciation is one of the fastest ways to hinder growth. As we appreciate where we are, we are motivated to get to where we want to go. Take time to read this article and build appreciation in your marriage.    

Question of the Day

How do you and Jenny handle Valentine's Day? 

Answer: I regularly tell people that just because something works for us doesn't guarantee it will work for you. Jenny and I aren't gift-givers. Each year we try to take a trip together so we call that our gift to one another. So when it comes to Valentine's Day, birthdays, anniversary, and Christmas we don't exchange gifts. We might each buy something for ourselves and tell the other what they got us for the holiday. This has worked for us. It may not work forever. A day might come in which one of us needs more during these holidays, but we haven't reached that point so far. I think the key to holidays and anniversaries is solid communication. Don't expect your spouse to read your mind regarding what you want/need. Clearly communicate what will make you feel most loved and appreciated. Do everything in your power to love your spouse the way they need to be loved. For us, it means no gifts, but that doesn't mean you should do the same thing. (See: Stupid Marriage Advice That Works for Us)  

Questions?

I am not a professional marriage counselor and do not pretend to be. However, if you need help over the next month, don't be afraid to reach out. I can help point you in the right direction. Also, if you have a question, just reply to this email and I might include it in tomorrow's message. I won't use your name or tell your spouse you asked the question.