2021 Marriage Challenge Day 17

Day 17: How Do You Deal with Mistakes    

"Integrity is not about perfection. In some ways, it has more to do with how to deal with our imperfections." (Fearless Families, pg. 152)What do you do when something goes wrong? When you fail one another? When you don't do what you should do?There are two ways to get mistakes wrong. Some blow up. A minor failing becomes a major fight. The result is the feeling that we have to be perfect or the relationship is going to suffer. Others ignore. Something doesn't go as planned and it's never mentioned. The byproduct is that problems are never confronted. The couple drifts toward apathy because there is no chance for growth.The better way is to actually deal with it. Don't exaggerate the problem--we all make mistakes. Yet don't ignore them either--problems must be confronted. How a couple deals with mistakes greatly defines their relationship. How do you handle yours?A healthy couple confronts with grace, helps one another with their weaknesses, learns new skills, gets help when necessary, and does not keep repeating the same mistakes.How is this possible? In part, it's when we choose to place our hearts above our appearances. Buy a copy of Fearless Families to better understand this concept.  

Joy is a great fuel for marriage. Couples should regularly seek ways to inject joy into their relationship. Here are five ways.  

Question of the Day

How much sex is enough? 

Answer: This is a common question and in the average relationship the answer is a little more than one person wants and a little less than the other desires. Nearly every couple has one spouse with a higher drive than the other. And don't assume it's always the man. It's not. (See: Gentlemen, Start Your Engines) The key to navigating different drives is communication. We must continually talk with one another regarding what we desire, what makes us feel loved, and what hinders the mood. Generally, if a couple can discuss these things, the frequency of sex won't continue to be the main issue.One more thought. What if we changed the question? What if a couple asked: "How much sex can we have without it becoming too much?" Text your spouse that question and talk about it later today.  

Questions?

I am not a professional marriage counselor and do not pretend to be. However, if you need help over the next month, don't be afraid to reach out. I can help point you in the right direction. Also, if you have a question, just reply to this email and I might include it in tomorrow's message. I won't use your name or tell your spouse you asked the question.