2021 Marriage Challenge Day 18

Day 18: Submission    

"Love submits rather than overpowers" (Fearless Families, pg. 106)A cornerstone concept of Fearless Families is redeeming the idea of submission. It's a dangerous concept when love isn't present. We should not submit to those who look out for themselves more than they care for us. Yet where love is present, submission is beautiful. It empowers us to love one another, place the marriage above our individual desires, and create a climate where growth can take place.Submission should be mutual. We are submitting ourselves to one another and the marriage. The result is the marriage is freed from powerplays. Where submission isn't present, both spouses attempt to overpower the other. Through yelling or the silent treatment or manipulation, we are trying to force our way rather than finding the best way.How do you submit to your spouse? In what areas are they in charge and you are cheering on their leadership?How do you treat your spouse's submission to you? In what ways are you leading for their benefit?When a husband and wife each submit to God and to one another, there is a beautiful give and take. When they can't submit to one another, they get stuck as each tries to force their way upon the other. For more about submission, see chapter 10 of Fearless Families.    

Here's a quick look at couples who are happily married. Are all 7 of these traits in your marriage?  

Question of the Day

I want my husband to be the spiritual leader of our home, but he doesn't know how. What should we do? 

Answer: It depends on his desire. In other words, if you want him to lead more but he doesn't want to, then there isn't much you can do. Just keep leading yourself. However, if he shares in your desire then there are actions you can take. First, you both should define what you desire. What does spiritual leadership look like? Then you should both make strides to lead better. Both should initiate spiritual conversations, activities, and thoughts. For example, if one aspect of spiritual leadership is leading in prayer before meals, start making that a habit together. But if that hasn't been a practice, he will need help. Get the free gift that goes with Fearless Families and it will show a process to learn how to pray before a meal. While I understand the thought that the husband should be the spiritual leader, to me, both spouses have a role to play in leading the home. Learn to lead together.   

Questions?

I am not a professional marriage counselor and do not pretend to be. However, if you need help over the next month, don't be afraid to reach out. I can help point you in the right direction. Also, if you have a question, just reply to this email and I might include it in tomorrow's message. I won't use your name or tell your spouse you asked the question.