2021 Marriage Challenge Day 22

Day 22 Marriage Challenge

Day 22: Forgive and Be Forgiven    

"We can't truly forgive unless we first admit we have been hurt, communicate our pain, and offer forgiveness to the one who has offended us." (Fearless Families, pg. 135)A good marriage can't exist without forgiveness, yet few things are as unnatural to us as forgiving others. This is a skill we must learn. Most confuse forgiveness for denial. We think we have forgiven when we deny our pain and pretend as though nothing happened. Yet this is not the true nature of forgiveness. For true forgiveness to occur we must admit the hurt. We have to recognize it and identify it. Then we have to communicate the hurt to our spouse. Only then can we truly offer forgiveness to the other. It's the exact opposite of denial. While denial runs from the problem, forgiveness runs to it. Deals with it; and then moves on from it. In your marriage, do you (y'all) deal with issues or do you deny them. Obviously, a lot of things can be overlooked. One of my favorite things about two decades of marriage is that we can easily laugh off what might have once caused tension. But we can't laugh off that which causes true pain. When hurt occurs, we must name it, discuss it, deal with it, and then experience the giving and receiving of forgiveness. Without each step, we cannot move forward.One of the great signs that unforgiveness is present in your marriage is that feeling of being stuck. Denial forces us to stay put. Only forgiveness causes us to move forward. If you aren't maturing together, you might ask if you are avoiding difficult topics, especially hurt.  You want to love one another? Learn to forgive and be forgiven. 

Forgiving and forgetting are different things. Read this to begin the process of forgiveness. 

More Articles

Forgiveness is such an important topic, I want to include a few more articles for further reading. Review the following: 

Fear is the greatest cause of unforgiveness. To learn more, order Fearless Families.