2021 Marriage Challenge Day 24

Day 24: Whatever It Takes    

"A healthy marriage requires both spouses to choose to do whatever it takes to grow and mature that relationship." (Fearless Families, pg. 206)So often we think of "whatever it takes" as bold actions. When a couple stands before me to get married and I use this phrase, the groom might picture courageously throwing himself between his bride and a bullet, giving his life in order to save hers. And hopefully, that is the type of love we have for each other.However, far more often, "whatever it takes" is not about actions that would cause others to be amazed by our courage. Instead, the actions that marriage most often needs for growth and maturity are small and unseen.Are you willing to do whatever it takes to improve your marriage? Even if whatever it takes are small actions, often unnoticed, and if left undone will likely not be known?Will your love motivate you to actions which others will simply choose not to do?And what does it take to make a marriage work? In most cases, it takes conversation, intentional investment, a quantity of quality time, prioritizing your spouse over hobbies or work, and continually choosing to love one another even when you don't feel like it.For some, taking a bullet seems easier. Yet for those willing to do the work, they will never regret it.    

Don't know where to start regarding "whatever it takes?" Start here. Read about these 7 intentional steps for a better marriage and start incorporating them into your relationship.  

Question of the Day

Is the 7 year itch true? Do couples divorce more at that time?

Answer: The concept of it is true. I'm not sure if seven years is exact. As a general concept, there are two times in which a couple is more likely to divorce: 1. when kids are little and 2. when kids are teenagers. Both make sense. When kids are little, you aren't sleeping, sex becomes more difficult, and most couples have been married long enough that the honeymoon phase has worn off. Then when kids become teenagers, stress is high. Parenting becomes more challenging and for most people their 40s are the most difficult decade of their personal lives. Both combine to make marriage more difficult. Two thoughts: 1. Recognize these valleys and be quick to get help during them. There is no gold star for navigating life or marriage by yourself. 2. Realize that most couples experience higher levels of marital satisfaction in their 60s than they did during their honeymoon. Generally speaking, marriage gets better as you move out of these difficult seasons of life.  

Questions?

I am not a professional marriage counselor and do not pretend to be. However, if you need help over the next month, don't be afraid to reach out. I can help point you in the right direction. Also, if you have a question, just reply to this email and I might include it in tomorrow's message. I won't use your name or tell your spouse you asked the question.