2021 Marriage Challenge Day 25

Day 25: Push One Another to Do What Is Right    

"When it comes to anxiety, the most significant weapon at our disposal is drawing strength from our relationships." (Fearless Families, pg. 182)Left to ourselves, we aren't very dependable. Whether it's working out, eating right, or serving others, most of will drift toward apathy without the right amount of accountability. Even when it comes to Bible Study, I often tell people you need a plan, a place, and a partner if you want to create the habit. We all need accountability. Marriage gives us a built-in person who can push us toward doing what is good, right, and necessary. Of course, if this becomes one-sided, then it becomes a recipe for disaster. A one-sided relationship of accountability is not a marriage; it is a parent-child relationship. Parents hold kids accountable while kids try to get away with things without their parents knowing. That's expected in those types of relationships, but it is a nightmare for a marriage.Yet when a husband and wife challenge each other through their example and encouragement to be the best version of themselves they can be, a marriage will thrive as will the individuals. This is a relationship between two adults.Notice--we don't push one another through nagging. Instead, it is our example and encouragement that motivates one another. As I watch my spouse live in integrity, work hard, and love well it inspires me to do the same. Her consistent love allows her to say difficult things to me which I know are for my benefit. All of this empowers me to be a better man. Question: does your marriage consist of two adults who continually push one another to a better version of themselves? If so, give thanks for your spouse. If not, why not? Read below about the danger of marriage becoming a parent/child relationship.     

Here are five signs I often see in relationships that are slowly dying. Are any present in your marriage? 

Question of the Day

My spouse is good in so many ways, but we are not best friends and I don't think we ever will be. What do I do? 

Answer: Your spouse should be your best friend. That's the design. Yet life doesn't always go as designed. If you've tried all you know to try and no ground has been gained, you might have to mourn that part of your relationship. Appreciate all the good, mourn this one area of struggle, and then get your friendship needs met in another, appropriate, place. Develop strong friendships with others. Be careful. Recognize that this weakness in your relationship does open you up to be tempted toward having your needs met in inappropriate ways. Yet you can create strong friendships with others so your relational needs are met while you still greatly appreciate your spouse and your marriage. No marriage is perfect and we all have places where we wish our relationship was stronger. Don't allow imperfection in one area to ruin the whole marriage.  

Questions?

I am not a professional marriage counselor and do not pretend to be. However, if you need help over the next month, don't be afraid to reach out. I can help point you in the right direction. Also, if you have a question, just reply to this email and I might include it in tomorrow's message. I won't use your name or tell your spouse you asked the question.