2021 Marriage Challenge Day 26

Day 26: Love Decides    

"Love should be the guiding principle by which we make every decision." (Fearless Families, pg. 37)It sounds so simple, "Love decides." We all assume that the decisions we make are decisions of love. Yet with a little reflection, we can slowly see that love often isn't in the driver's seat. In many instances, we make decisions based on safety, comfort, laziness, and a whole host of other concepts rather than love. The truth is simple--unless you make a conscious choice to allow love to be your guiding principle, it will not be. And, you won't even know it. You will assume you are making choices in love without ever realizing you are not.This is such a major issue, we have made this our number one house rule. (For more about house rules, see the free gifts as a part of Fearless Families HERE.) We state it first because we know the potential that comes when we prioritize love and we recognize the ease with which we can easily choose a different path.Whatever the issue, love should dictate our actions.Should a child face discipline for their behavior? What's the most loving action toward them rather than just what is most convenient to me at the moment?When I'm unhappy, do I speak or remain silent? Sometimes love drives me to submit and be quiet. At other times it should motivate me to courageously have a difficult conversation. Either way, love decides.  When I finish dinner and take my plate to the kitchen, does love compel me to set it on the counter or to rinse it off and put it in the dishwasher? Love decides.When a couple can get in the mindset of continually allowing love to decide their actions, their marriage will flourish. But when we leave our choices up to chance or immediate desire, we are in trouble. Allow love to decide. 

It's easy to talk about the dangers of technology in a relationship, but it can also benefit the marriage. Texting one another is a powerful way to stay connected without too much time being taken. Choose one of these messages and send it to your spouse today.   

Question of the Day

We can't find a Christian counselor in my area, what should we do? 

Answer: When I get on a plane I don't know if my pilot is a Christian or not. My assumption, however, is that he can fly a plane. When I refer people to counseling, my greatest concern isn't whether or not their counselor is a Christian. I simply hope they know about marriage and will help the couple navigate it. I don't know if my counselor is a Christian or not. What I do know is that he can assist me as an outsider to help me see what is happening in my life. I can take care of the Christian part; I need him to take care of the counselor part. When it comes to counseling, a counselor is supposed to let the client's values guide the discussion. If you are a believer, your counselor doesn't have to be.  

Questions?

I am not a professional marriage counselor and do not pretend to be. However, if you need help over the next month, don't be afraid to reach out. I can help point you in the right direction. Also, if you have a question, just reply to this email and I might include it in tomorrow's message. I won't use your name or tell your spouse you asked the question.