2021 Marriage Challenge Day 27

Day 27: Love Is the Net    

"Life demands courage. Love is the net that enables courage to grow." (Fearless Families, pg. 114)Remember your child's first steps (or a video of a a child taking their first steps). We focus on the kid, but without fail there is a loving parent/adult with arms outstretched calling, begging for the child to walk. Eventually, one foot flies into the air and momentum carries them into the arms of the one who loves them.Notice, love empowers courage.Age doesn't change that.Marriage demands courage. It requires a vulnerability and trust which just doesn't come naturally. Few things open us up to such potential pain like an intimate relationship with another. The only way to succeed is to have courage. The only way to have courage is to experience love. Does your spouse have that from you? Can they be so certain of your consistent, self-sacrificing, encouraging love that they can show the courage of taking the first step of vulnerability with you? Many marriages are hindered by cowardice. One or both spouses are not willing to do what it takes to have a healthy relationship. They hide their heart, camouflage their feelings, and refuse to truly give themself to the other. You can't make your spouse be courageous, but you can create the climate in which they have the choice. You can give them your love. Fearless Families shows the path for individuals, couples, and families to push aside the common pattern of fear and to create a home based on love. The evidence that love is present is the ability of each member to act in a courageous way.  

It's assumed the great thing about sex is getting pleasure. It's not. Giving pleasure is a far greater role. Read more here. 

Question of the Day

Each February this helps our marriage, but then we quickly return to old habits and feel distant. What should we do beyond the marriage challenge to stay connected?

Answer: Each year I hear from people who find the marriage challenge helpful. It's not life-changing; it's not meant to be. But it is intended to show how just a little bit of intention every single day can positively impact your relationship. My encouragement to you is to simply keep that habit up. Find ways to intentionally invest in your relationship. Schedule a walk each week. Find a way to meet at home one day a week for lunch. Plan on a regular Sunday afternoon nap. Whatever it is for the two of you, make a plan to spend intentional time together several times throughout the week. The power of the 28 Day Marriage Challenge is not necessarily the content. It is the daily routine of thinking about your relationship.   

Questions?

I am not a professional marriage counselor and do not pretend to be. However, if you need help over the next month, don't be afraid to reach out. I can help point you in the right direction. Also, if you have a question, just reply to this email and I might include it in tomorrow's message. I won't use your name or tell your spouse you asked the question.