August 16, 2019

One of the most common misconceptions of a healthy marriage is the belief they have fewer disagreements. It's just not true. Good relationships don't disagree less, they just disagree better. They know how to navigate differences. It's true in marriage and every other relationship in life. 

To disagree well, we first must understand

The Number One Rule of Disagreement

. 

Second, we must

Refuse the Rage

. We are tempted to escalate the emotion when we disagree with someone. Instead, we must deflate the outrage. Another easy way to lessen the outrage is to do

THIS

. 

Third, we need to always remember that we often struggle to communicate well which means others likely have the same struggle. Consider

Sometimes I Hate What I Write Too

. 

Fourth, when tense conversations happen, always look for

THIS

and make sure you do something when you see it. 

Finally, while we should

never seek conflict, we should embrace it

. Disagreement is one of our greatest opportunities for change.

Show me a relationship that can navigate disagreement well and I'll show you a relationship that has unlimited potential for success. Unfortunately, being able to disagree well is not an innate ability of humanity. It's a set of skills we must learn and we must learn them the hard way. 

Facing tensions and/or disagreements at work? The most requested speech I give on a regular basis is from my book

Happily

and is about this very issue. Respond to this email if you would like for me to come to your group or organization. In 40 minutes, we can greatly assist your people to deal with disagreement in a more productive way.

Blessings,

Kevin