Friends, Partners & Lovers

Here’s the thing: the message never changes. It’s not something you hear once and then move on to something new. What I will tell couples at the newlywed class next week is the same thing I consider within my marriage 24 years after saying I do. It’s the original marriage book, and it will be a framework in every marriage book I write from this point forward.

Friends. Partners. Lovers.

It’s a simple framework that is useful in every season of marriage. It cuts across geography and generation. While the three roles might mean different things in different seasons, the basic concept stays the same—your job description as a spouse is to be a friend, partner, and lover.

So how is it going?

As we celebrate Valentine’s Day this week, how is your friendship, partnership, and intimacy? What can you celebrate? What do you need to get to work on?

On the latest Change the Odds the Podcast, Leslie Johnston and I review Friends, Partners & Lovers, remembering why I wrote it and how it still applies today. Listen here (and give it a like/review)

Over the years, I’ve written a few articles around Valentine’s Day that people have found helpful. Check one out:

• Happy Valentine’s Day: Your Not My Soul Mate

• How To Get Valentine’s Day Wrong

• The Single Life and Valentine’s Day

Go Somewhere With Your Spouse

For years I have spoken about the importance of getting away with your spouse. I think an annual vacation is more important than a monthly date night. There is just something about changing your routine, getting away from others, and focusing on each other that strengthens your marriage.

Obviously, the last few years have made it difficult for people to find this routine, but I can’t emphasize it enough. Need some help? We are planning a few small gatherings over the next year. Where would you like to join us?

Coming Up

We’ve had a fast start to 2024. We’ve been in Houston, Modesto, Palm Springs, San Diego, and Maui, spreading the Stay In Your Lane message. Next month I’ll appear on Focus on the Family.

Next week, we start two new classes at Bayside: a premarital class for those getting married this year AND a class for couples called The Skills, which teaches the basic skills a couple needs for a happy marriage.

As always, if I can assist you or your family, don’t hesitate to respond to this message.

Blessings,

Kevin