For years, people have asked me to be their counselor. Or their coach.
I'm not a counselor. And I don’t have the time to coach couples one-on-one the way that I would want to.
But it comes up almost every single week. Someone reaches out talking about how a class or retreat was so meaningful and they want more. I try to point them in the righ direction, but I always hate disappointing them.
I keep telling Jenny that I have to do something.
So for the first time (and maybe the only time) I'm doing it. I'm running a coaching group for The Creation of Us.
Here's why a group, and not one-on-one
When you sit down one-on-one with a counselor, you get all the attention. But you also get all the spotlight. It's just you, your issues, and someone looking straight at you. That pressure makes most people a little defensive.
In a group, something different happens. You get less individual airtime, sure. But you're learning alongside other couples who are wrestling with the same things. Watching someone else get coached on an issue you also struggle with lands differently than being coached on it yourself. Your guard comes down. You listen instead of defend. And you learn just as much from someone else's conversation as you would from your own.
Who this is for
Any couple could benefit from this experience, but imagine a few couples specifically.
You could use a pick-me-up. Things aren't falling apart, but they're not where you want them either. You know they could be better — you just need a push and a plan.
You want to help others. Maybe you're already the couple your friends call for advice. This will sharpen what you already do naturally.
You're seriously dating, engaged, or newlywed. You're building the foundation right now, and you want to build it well from the start.
You are in a season of transition. Our youngest just graduated High School. This is a time of change for us. If that’s you, having help redefining your relationship could be very beneficial.
Why this is worth it
Jenny and I did counseling last week. Wouldn’t it worry you if we never did work on our relationship? It cost $200 for the session. Six sessions like that would run us $1,200.
This cohort — six weeks, live teaching, live discussion — is $299. So I pay $200 a session; you pay $50 a session.
What we will accomplish
Six weeks is interesting. It doesn’t seem long enough to change anything, but six intentional weeks can be transformative in any area we choose, even marriage. Here’s what I know we can accomplish in six weeks:
Get your relationship off autopilot. Right now, for good and bad, your relationship is run without conscious thought. Your habits are making the call. With intention and focus, we will shake the autopilot and start making purposeful decisions regarding our relationships.
You will recognize you are not alone (and, in some ways, you aren’t that bad). The group setting will be more encouraging than you realize. You will find yourself rooting for people you don’t even know and being encouraged by people who used to be strangers. None of us can grow in isolation and this cohort will create an immediate community. (And, at some point, a couple will reveal something that will make your problems seems smaller and even that will be encouraging.)
Start dealing with the real issues. Whether it be the problems or the growth edges, most of us live in denial (or ignorance) of what really matters in marriage. We blame the symptoms, never recognizing the underlying causes. This six weeks will help you see what really influences your connection.
How it works (and will Jenny be there?)
Each session is an hour. The first 30 minutes, I'll teach, going deeper into the issues from The Creation of Us than the book has room for. The second 30 minutes is open discussion and Q&A, where we work through what's actually going on in your relationship.
Depending on how many couples sign up, we'll likely run two groups: one on Tuesdays, one on Thursdays.
And if for some reason the timing just doesn't work out once you see the schedule, you can get a refund.
The headliner of this cohort is that Jenny plans to join me on the calls. For those of you who have attended a class or conference, you know that Jenny tends not to be on stage. It’s not that she can’t; it’s that she doesn’t like it. How foolish would it be for me to encourage you to do what God created you to do if I then coerced my wife to do something she doesn’t enjoy?
But Jenny loves small groups. So this cohort will get a rare glimpse of both of us interacting with the material and revealing how these ideas work (and sometimes don’t work) in our relationship.
The catch
This is only open to those who pre-order the book. Spots are limited to 25 couples (some spots are already taken), and I don't know if I'll ever run this again.
If you've been one of the people asking me for more than the newsletter can give you, this is that.
Blessings,
Kevin
