(Go HERE to order my new book)

Hey friends,

For most of my life, I carried a quiet belief I never said out loud:

“Maybe I’m just bad at relationships.”

I loved people, cared deeply, and tried hard. But I always felt like my friendships were a little off, like something was missing, like everyone else knew how to connect in ways I didn’t.

Even after I married Jenny, I still felt moments of confusion. Our marriage was strong, but there were patterns we couldn’t explain.

• Minor conflicts that felt bigger than they should.

• Moments of distance that threw me off more than I expected.

• Emotional distance that I didn’t like and couldn’t understand.

And whenever those struggles showed up, my first instinct was always the same:

“This must be my fault.”

Not because Jenny ever made me feel that way, she didn’t.
But because I believed something was wrong with me.

For years, I assumed it was personality.
Maybe I was too cautious, too serious, too analytical, or too “in my head.”

Then I learned something that changed everything:

👉 It wasn’t personality. It was attachment.

The easiest way to understand attachment is to see it as the autopilot that guides how we all deal with relationships. How you view yourself, others, and God was primarily shaped in the earliest moments of life. It created our relational autopilot.

The problem—what saved us in our earliest relationships might kill us in our present ones.

When I discovered Attachment Theory, I no longer felt broken. I felt understood.

In writing Love Styles, I have been able to find words for things I’ve long experienced. And, I’ve been able to choose better relational patterns with Jenny, our kids, friendships, and coworkers.

These ideas have positively impacted every relationship I have.

That’s the reason I wrote this book.

Now Available on Amazon

This is the most personal and practical book I’ve ever written. Yes, it explains a complicated issue from the field of psychology. But it does so in a Stay In Your Lane format. Hopefully, this is the simplest explanation of Attachment Theory ever written.

A Word for Marriages

Most couples think their biggest problem is poor communication.

It rarely is.

What looks like a communication problem is almost always an attachment problem in disguise.

The same is true for:

• sex and intimacy

• conflict

• emotional distance

• trust

• recurring arguments

• the “we keep having the same fight” cycle

Couples say things like:

“We just don’t communicate well.”
“We need better tools.”
“We don’t know how to talk about feelings.”

But the real issue goes deeper.

One spouse withdraws because closeness feels overwhelming.
The other escalates because distance feels threatening.
One shuts down to stay safe.
The other pursues to feel secure.

It doesn’t matter how many communication tips you learn; if your attachment patterns remain unaddressed, the same problems keep resurfacing.

This book gives you that map to discover what’s holding you back.

A Word for Those Who Are Single

Since teaching attachment theory, I’ve had countless conversations with people who wanted to be married but weren’t.

Many of them spent years believing:

• “Maybe I’m too much.”

• “Maybe I’m too hard to love.”

• “Maybe there’s something wrong with me.”

• “Maybe I’m destined to be alone.”

But once they discovered their non-secure attachment pathways, everything shifted.

I can specficlaly think of two friends who always wanted to be married, but in their 40s still hadn’t cemented that relationship. After telling them about Attachment Theory, both are now happily married.

Not because they changed their personality.
But because they finally understood their attachment.

That new clarity helped them:

• choose healthier partners

• stop repeating old patterns

• communicate their needs

• receive love without fear

• trust their own hearts again

If you’re single or love someone who is, this book will help you heal the invisible patterns holding you back.

Free Love Styles Assessment

Along with the book, you can take the free assessment I created.
It shows your attachment style in a specific relationship—meaning you can take it multiple times:

• spouse

• dating partner

• child

• parent

• friend

• boss

Start here: Love Styles Assessment

Start Your Journey Today

👉 Buy Love Styles on Amazon (the ebook will be available soon)

👉 Take the free assessment

If this book gives you clarity, relief, or healing, share it with someone who needs it.
You never know what relationship it could save.

With gratitude,
Kevin

p.s. If you have heard me teach the material, please leave a review of the book ASAP.