Most Couples Have Never Heard of This Word (but they feel it every day)

Every December it happens.

The same tension, family dynamics, and argument in the car on the way home.

Maybe it’s:

• In-laws pulling you in opposite directions

• Feeling unsupported by your spouse

• Trying to “keep the peace” while quietly losing connection

• Or feeling torn between your marriage and your family

And no matter how much you promise, “Next year will be different,” it somehow never is.

On our latest episode of Change the Odds, we unpacked what’s actually going on beneath so many of these repeating holiday conflicts—and the word that unlocked it all was one most couples have never heard before:

Triangulation.

It’s what happens when:

• Two people stop dealing directly with each other

• And instead, pull in a third person to manage the tension

It shows up in:

• Marriage

• Parenting

• Friendships

• Workplace relationships

• Extended family systems

And it quietly replaces unity with alliances… and resolution with reruns.

This week, we released three resources to help you recognize it, stop it, and strengthen your most important relationships:

🎧 1. The Podcast Episode

We read a real letter from a couple trapped in the same Christmas fight year after year—caught between parents, guilt, expectations, attachment styles, and people-pleasing.

We break down:

• Why avoidance feels like peace—but isn’t

• How triangulation keeps couples stuck

• How to stop turning your spouse into the problem

• How to move from me vs. you to us vs. the issue

👉 Watch here:

📝 2. The Blog Post on Triangulation

We took the biggest idea from the episode and turned it into a clear, practical article you can read, share, and use as a discussion tool.

If you’ve ever wondered:

• Why the same conflicts keep repeating

• Why outsiders keep getting pulled into your marriage

• Why boundaries feel so hard to hold

This article will connect the dots.

👉 Read the article:
Triangulation: The Hidden Relationship Pattern Undermining Your Marriage

📘 3. Love Styles — The Deeper Framework

Triangulation is just one symptom of something bigger: how we learned to give love, protect ourselves, and handle closeness under pressure.

That’s what Love Styles is all about.

Thousands of couples have used it to:

• Understand why they react the way they do

• Break anxious/avoidant cycles

• Stop repeating the same conflicts

• And build real emotional security

If Love Styles has helped you, would you take 60 seconds and leave a review on Amazon? Reviews don’t just help the book—they help other couples find hope.

You don’t have to survive another holiday season on autopilot.

You can break old patterns.
You can build a stronger connection.
And you can change the odds.

Blessings,

Kevin