Welcome to the Fight Club

Let’s be honest, every couple fights. Some fight loud, some fight quietly. Some fight once a month, others once a day. But every couple has a pattern, a rhythm, a tone, a story that keeps replaying. And here’s the surprising part: your pattern of fighting isn’t random. It’s revealing.

When you argue with your spouse, you’re not just reacting to what’s happening in front of you. You’re reacting from who you are underneath it all—your attachment style (what we call your Love Style) and your personality pattern (your Lead Style). Those two hidden dynamics shape everything: how you express anger, how you handle conflict, and how you repair afterward.

That’s what we’re exploring in this new series on Change the Odds. We’re calling it Fight Club, but not the kind where you throw punches. It’s the kind where you learn what your fights are really about.

Because here’s the truth: it’s never just about the dishes, the spending, or (in this week’s episode) the keys. Every disagreement hides something deeper—an unspoken need, an unmet expectation, or an old wound that still shapes how you show up. And if you can learn to see what’s happening underneath the surface, every argument becomes an opportunity for healing, not just winning.

In Fight Club, we’re going to take real conflicts from real couples—anonymous stories you send us—and break them down. We’ll ask:

• What attachment styles might be at play here? (Is one partner anxious and craving connection while the other pulls away to feel safe?)

• What personality dynamics might be colliding? (Is one leading from the head—seeking logic and order—while the other leads from the heart or the gut—seeking connection or action?)

• And most importantly, how can this couple learn to fight well?

Because healthy couples don’t fight less. They fight better.

They don’t avoid tension—they use it to understand each other. They don’t get stuck in blame—they learn to get curious. They know that every fight has a message: “I need to feel safe,” “I need to feel seen,” or “I need to feel free.” When you can name that message, you can finally stop fighting against each other and start fighting for each other.

So here’s how it works: you send us your story anonymously. Go HERE and tell us about your latest fight. Maybe it’s about money, parenting, sex, or just something small that blew up bigger than it should have. We’ll read your story, unpack what’s really going on beneath the surface, and help you see how your Love Style and Lead Style might be shaping the way you fight.

Our hope? That through this series, you’ll stop seeing conflict as proof that something’s wrong—and start seeing it as a path toward something stronger.

So, welcome to Fight Club. Every couple fights. But only the wise learn to fight well.

The episode doesn’t release until tomorrow, but you can get an early peek here on YouTube. (Make sure you subscribe.)

We are just days away from the launch of my next book, Love Styles. I can’t wait to get this in your hands. Two things greatly impact every relationship—our love style and our lead style. This book will give you some language and understanding of what has been impacting your relationship from day one.

Look for an email announcement later this month.