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Five Signs You're Growing in God's Will as a Couple
Kevin A. Thompson
October 31, 2025
How do you know if your marriage is moving in the right direction?
It’s one of the questions I hear most often, whether in counseling sessions, small groups, or emails that begin, “Kevin, I’m not sure if we’re where God wants us to be.” Every couple wants assurance that they’re on the right path, but the signs aren’t always what we expect. In fact, comfort and ease are rarely evidence of spiritual maturity. Sometimes the surest sign that you’re right in the center of God’s will is that life feels a little uncomfortable. Growth always stretches us.
In a recent episode of Change the Odds: The Podcast, Blaine, Adrienne, and I discussed five signs that suggest a couple is growing in God’s will. These are not formulas for perfection but patterns of formation, ways to recognize God’s fingerprints on your story.
1. You’re growing in awareness of God’s presence.
Early in marriage, it’s easy to make life about us—our plans, our dreams, our love story. Maturity begins when you start asking, “What is God doing in and through us?” Healthy couples begin to see God not just as an observer but as an active participant in their relationship. They start noticing His presence in small moments—a shared prayer, a hard conversation handled with grace, or even a setback that becomes a lesson.
2. You’re leveraging your love and story to help others.
One of the clearest signs of spiritual growth is when your relationship begins to bless others. God never blesses us just to keep the blessing for ourselves. Whether it’s mentoring a younger couple, sharing part of your story at church, or simply being honest about your struggles, God uses your marriage to comfort others. As we said on the podcast, our love should ripple outward.
3. You’re growing in gratitude—for God and for each other.
Pride says, “I deserve this.” Gratitude says, “I didn’t earn this, but I’m thankful.” When couples intentionally say “please” and “thank you,” they remind each other that love is a gift, not a right. Gratitude creates humility, and humility strengthens unity.
4. You’re obeying out of joy, not duty.
For many of us, obedience sounds like a restriction, but true obedience is a release. It’s living in alignment with how God designed life to work. As your faith deepens, obedience feels less like an obligation and more like freedom. You stop asking, “What can I get away with?” and start asking, “What would honor God and my spouse most?”
5. You’re trusting God in ways that stretch your faith.
Mature couples don’t chase comfort; they pursue calling. Trust is built when obedience leads you into unfamiliar territory and you discover that God is faithful again and again.
If you recognize these five signs, you’re likely right where God wants you to be: growing, stretching, trusting, and becoming more like Him together.
To hear the full conversation, including how hardship and gratitude are often intertwined, listen to Change the Odds: The Podcast wherever you get your podcasts. And if this topic resonated with you, check out our follow-up episode where we talk about how gratitude can change the emotional climate of your home.
