Never Fight About Money Again

If I could write a prescription of how to ensure money was a miserable topic in your marriage, here is what I would prescribe:

1. Don’t have a plan.

Have no system of how you handle money. So if I gave you $100 or $1000, you wouldn’t automatically know how to handle it. Instead, you would do what you think is right in the moment and your spouse would judge you based on what they think is right in the moment.

2. Only talk about money when something goes wrong, and feel insecure when doing so.

Don’t reguarly talk about your hopes and dreams. Don’t discuss good money decisions. Don’t communicate your trust for each other. Instead, only talk about money when somehting has gone wrong, money is tight, your spouse spent too much, etc.  “

3. Assume everything will work out, but don’t determine your long-term goals.

Fixate on today and nothing. Don’t understand your spouse’s long-term dreams or goals. Don’t do anything today which could positively impact tomorrow. Just keep going from day to day.

4. Don’t be a team.

Refuse to create a process by which you know you are on the same team. Instead of working a system together, make your spouse your opponent when it comes to finances. You are always right; they are always wrong; never are you on the same side.

5. Don’t know your numbers.

Just guess at what you make. Ignore how much you spend. Stick your head in the sand regarding your net worth, debt, assests, etc.

If I could write a prescription for how to make money a miserable topic in your marriage, this is what I would tell you to do.

You know what is sad?

This is the very way most people handle their money.

This week on the Podcast (Apple or Spotify), Blaine, Adrienne, and I start a two part series on money. And here’s the headline: in 25 years of marriage, Jenny and I have never had a single fight about money. How is that possible? In these two episodes, I will show you the process we use.

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Two great books that I love about money are:

• Money for Couples

• The Psychology of Money