When Your Spouse Acts Like a Child

Every couple has that one fight.

The one that shows up in different clothes, but feels the same every time.

For many couples, that fight is about money.

Not because money is evil. But because money carries fear, hope, power, control, generosity, shame, security, and dreams.

This week on Change the Odds, we talked through a real Christmas fight between a husband and wife. They had agreed on a spending limit. Then he quietly doubled it. What followed wasn’t just a budget issue—it was a full breakdown of trust, respect, and partnership.

Somewhere along the way, they stopped being partners and started playing parent and child.

And that dynamic is deadly in marriage.

I wrote a new blog post this week called:

👉 “When Your Spouse Acts Like a Child: How Couples Accidentally Lose Partnership”

It explores:

• How control replaces collaboration

• Why secrecy turns spouses into supervisors

• How partnership slowly collapses

• And what it actually takes to restore shared responsibility

If you’ve ever felt like the “responsible one”…
Or the one who feels constantly scrutinized…
This will likely hit close to home.

Alongside that, we released the full podcast episode where this Christmas money fight unfolds in real time:

🎧 “The Christmas Money Fight That Almost Stole the Marriage”
[Listen above or watch below.]

You’ll hear:

• Why money fights are rarely about money

• How personality and attachment shape financial conflict

• How trust erodes—and how it can be rebuilt

• And one simple shift that could change how you make decisions forever

Before You Scroll Away, I’d Love Your Voice

We’re gathering insight to better serve couples this season. Would you take 10 seconds to answer this?

Your answers help shape future podcast topics and resources.

A Reminder About Three Tools for Your Relationship

I’m all over the board this month talking about books. In December I’m on the Jim Burns podcast talking about FPL. Next week, I’m with Family Live talking about Stay In Your Lane. And I just booked my flight to Focus On the Family for my interview about Love Styles.

Now is a great time to grab a copy or two of your favorite book and send it to someone you know:

📘 Friends, Partners & Lovers – There’s a whole section about the parent/child dynamic in marriage.
📕 Stay In Your Lane – How to stop crossing into roles that create conflict and resentment
📙 Love Styles – How attachment shapes the way you love, fight, and connect

One More Important Step

If you’ve never taken your Attachment Assessment, I strongly encourage you to start there. It helps you understand:

• Why you react the way you do in conflict

• Why closeness feels easy or hard

• Why you chase… or withdraw… or freeze

Take the free assessment here:

If a Christmas money fight, a parenting dynamic, or a trust wound feels familiar right now, you’re not broken. You’re human. And the good news is this: patterns can be changed.

That’s why we’re here.

Blessings,
Kevin